Emotional Desperation
by anxiousgeek
Summary: SamTeal'c. Set during Threads, Slight SamJack, SamPete


She woke up alone.

Which was normal for her, even during the few relationships she'd had in her lifetime, except these weren't her quarters and she hadn't gone to bed alone.

The covers were softer than her own, the walls had an orange flickering glow over them. Her own lamp was a glaring bright white and this was much nicer. She wasn't completely alone either, the bed was empty but there was still a presence in the room, breathing deeply.

She rolled over onto her stomach and looked to see Teal'c sat in the floor facing her, his legs crossed and his wrists resting on his knees. His breathing was even, soothing too, and the only way she knew he wasn't in a state of Kel-no-reem was the fact that he didn't do that any more. Just meditated deeply. Not so deeply, she realised, when he opened his eyes and looked at her.

She pulled the covers close to her chest from under body. It was a foolish thing to do in both of their opinions but she did it anyway and he didn't comment on it.

Verbally at least.

"Don't you have a room for that?" She asked.

"I did not wish for you to wake up alone." He said, his posture remaining static.

"Oh."

He was too good to her, too good a friend and too good in bed.

Shame it wasn't going anywhere but she just didn't feel it. She needed him all the same though, at times of emotional desperation. She wasn't sure if she was using him or not because Teal'c wasn't the kind of person to let anyone use him in anyway, but it didn't feel quite right because tomorrow everything would be the same as it ever was between them.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

Last night she had collapsed in his arms like he was the only thing that would keep the rest of her life from falling apart. They hadn't even talked, he hadn't even asked her what was wrong. From the first kiss he had known exactly what she needed. Maybe he was using her, but that seemed even more unlikely.

She sighed, burying her head under a pillow.

"You are over thinking matter." He said, she peaked out from the pillow, hair falling over her face before she blew it away. O'Neill called it cute, Teal'c was inclined to agree.

"What about Ishta?" She fought the urge to cover her head up again, and instead threw the pillow behind her onto the bed. Teal'c relaxed a touch but it wasn't visibly noticeable to Sam.

"What of Shanahan?" She paused before she answered.

"I left him. I called the wedding off."

"I see."

She didn't respond.

"I should get up." She waited but he didn't move and she realised he wasn't going to give her any privacy. She really wasn't sure what was going on here, between them, but she turned onto her back and threw the covers aside with a dramatic flair before getting out of bed to find her clothes had been neatly folded and placed on the chair.

She tried to ignore the fact his eyes followed her around the small room as he sat on the floor.

"Are you sure this is not an emotional decision you may not rationally have made if your father had not died?" He asked, standing to face her as she pulled her underwear up her legs.

"I'm sure."

"You still have feelings for O'Neill." It wasn't a question so she didn't answer, doing up her bra and pulling her t-shirt over her head instead.

"What about you and me?" She asked after a pause, feeling more clear-headed now she was fully clothed again.

"We are friends." His answers were infuriating sometimes, simple but never quite what she wanted. She knew not to expect much more from him but she wasn't awake enough for him to be cryptic Teal'c.

"Do this for a lot of your friends?"

"Only you. No one else needs this type of physical comfort." His eyes flittered to his messy bed and back. She wasn't sure of that was an insult of not, or if it was meant make her feel special. Or both.

"O'Neill will be most upset if you do not come fishing."

"I'm coming." He smiled then, and her cheeks blushed bright red at the memory before her mind twigged onto it. "Ah, I.."

"I have often found solace in sex Samantha, do not be embarrassed," he bent down and picked up her boots from where they had been neatly placed beside his, "I cannot imagine Daniel or O'Neill being able to do this for you."

She didn't even want to think about how complicated either of those two situations would be.

She sat on his chair and laced up her boots quickly. Looking up at him he was still standing, hands behind his back, head titled towards her, watching her.

"I hate how easy you make it to just walk out." He nodded.

"I understand."

She doubted that, she didn't think anything this intimate could be easy for Teal'c after everything that he'd been through. It also made her realise that perhaps Ishta was not the person she thought the woman was to Teal'c. It had been a while since anyone had heard about her from him and he was loyal.

Though she couldn't really see sleeping with her as being loyal to Jack.

She stood up, just as confused as she had been the night before, when she had found herself knocking on his door, trying not to cry, and gave him a sad smile and a kiss on the cheek.

It wasn't that easy to walk out.

"Thank you Teal'c."

_For caring, for making it easier. _

"You are welcome." He nodded again and she turned away, leaving his quarters and leaving him alone.

And then she was alone again in the corridor but she felt a little better.


End file.
